Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
soo... how was my night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
