do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
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woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
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It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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