she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
