I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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