Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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