The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
