i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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