the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
