Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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