You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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