You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
