I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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