i just google imaged poop.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
