We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
