When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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