I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
