I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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