He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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