he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
