I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize