Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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