please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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