So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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