Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
