you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize