Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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