did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
