Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
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Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i think my cat just said my name.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize