I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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