If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My breasts were aching with rage.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
