i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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