you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
