I am puke
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
