I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
