I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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