i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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