Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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