i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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