he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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