I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
