We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
