I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
from now on my penis is your penis
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I came so hard my ears popped.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
