I don't think brook has ever known best
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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