I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
