maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
