Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
