so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
