i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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