I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
