dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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