Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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