he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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