I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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