I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
