We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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