Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
