I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
