Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
