i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
