You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
