so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
