i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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